Visage

I always wondered what it meant to be pretty, to be handsome, to be beautiful. I always believed that there is something beautiful about someone. Even if they're not breathtaking, they have at least one thing they could be complimented on. Yet when I reflect on myself, I can see the things I want to appreciate, yet I can't get myself to do so.

I look in the mirror and I see the things I like, but then my mind turn to thoughts on how others would perceive me. I wonder whether people outside of myself, beyond my own sights, would see what I see. I wonder if they would see beauty. Of course, it's irrational of me to believe that there is some sort of universal opinion as to whether someone is beautiful or whatnot. I mean, there are those that automatically catch our attention and there are those that we can give a few compliments to. I know that I'm not the former, but to think that what we can attain, even if it is something we never truly had control over, is limited to the latter, it's upsetting at the least.

Is it possible to see beauty in oneself? Is it possible to find that belief and self-sufficiently fuel it with no dependency on those external to us? I've come across a few people that seem to not give a shit about what others think and find confidence within themselves, yet through an internal perspective, I feel as if everything I believe, feel, and see is based on external opinion; specifically, how I see myself. I want to believe that I'm someone of worth, someone worth loving, someone who deserves to be happy, someone who is beautiful. Yet contrary to my desires, I feel as if my worth as a person, my worth as a beloved, whether I deserve to be happy or not, and whether I am attractive all depends on how others see me... Is it possible to find worth in ourselves? To see ourselves as being worthy and beautiful even if the world disagrees?