Après une Semaine

It has been a week since my last post. As many of you all know, I started at my new retail job a week ago. It has been quite interesting...

Le Premier Jour
My first day was somewhat discouraging. I had an interesting haircut, I was one of the only people not wearing plaid and non-prescriptive, thick-rimmed, Buddy Holly-esque glasses. I honestly didn't know what to wear, so I went with a warm red sweater, a robin's egg colored button-up underneath, and a pair of slacks. I wanted to try my hand at color-blocking. Unfortunately, I felt a little overdressed as everyone were basically in plaid shirts and denim cut offs. Perhaps that was their interpretation of the company's unique current trend? It seemed more like a general interpretation of a current American trend.

Generally, when put into a room full of strangers, I'm the type that likes to "get a feel" for the rest of those in the room before interacting with them. Due to this I did get the sense that the people sitting at the same table as me considered me to be a bit odd. Perhaps even a bit stupid. I came in an hour early and my first workshop wasn't suppose to start until 10am, but they mistook me as a part of the 9am group, so it seemed like I was relatively late (I truly wasn't). I just went along with it. Unfortunately, it meant having to sit right next to the projector screen way up front.

One interesting bit of the day was when I finally faced everyone in my group and realized something... Sitting right across the table from me was a guy I had an OKCupid crush on. We made eye contact a few times where he would swiftly look away. It was obvious that he recognized me and he knew that I recognized him. I sent him an "eye candy" award on OKC for Christ's sake. At the end of the workshop he took the stairs instead of getting in the elevator with me. Perhaps he was trying to avoid me? We were just on the second floor anyways, so he might've just wanted the bit of exercise? Who knows?

Le Deuxième Jour
The second day of workshops was a little less nerve wracking. I connected quickly with a girl that was in the same group as me. Of course, it was somewhat expected that of all the people I would get along with it would be the only sassy black girl in the room. We talked a bit about the group's social dynamics; people were starting to form cliques. It was expected, however I personally didn't expect them to start forming so soon. It wouldn't be surprising if social hierarchies start to form. The sassy black girl, or I should say woman, was in her thirties and seemed like she didn't give a fuck. I quote, "I honestly could care less. If these people want to start closing themselves off to other people, that's on them. I'm here to do a job, not to one up anybody."

She gave me hope that perhaps there are other people like her and me. People that are there to be vain, look pretty while making money, but without the intent of proving superiority over anyone else. I took this job for that reason in the first place. It's a new store, therefore everyone is starting on the same level with basically the same amount of pay, so no one should feel much more or less than anyone else. Or perhaps it's my own defense mechanism(s) coming into play? Perhaps everyone isn't that bad and I'm the one who might be closing himself off?

Le Troisième Jour
I've noticed that for every day that passes, I become a little more open. Even though I have a different set of strangers in my group every day. I felt that the people who would get along with one another the best seemed to gravitate to one another. Whether it be their body language, their explicit expression of self, or whatnot. I felt that the people I was sitting with this time around were people I could freely speak to. I laughed with them, joked with them, and yes, worked with them during the group exercises. Meanwhile, it's not surprising that some people still stood out as the obnoxious overachievers. I understand if people want to stand out and show their worth, but a few of these people didn't even allow others to contribute. It was their way or no way. It annoyed me a bit, but I thought to myself, "Fuck it," and went along with it.

At the end of the day, the workshop leaders gave people the chance to give their two cents on the workshop experience. Of course, some people felt it necessary to say something even if it meant saying the same thing as those that went before them. The was the most tedious half hour of the whole session. Everyone liked the workshop, the fact that everyone got to interact with one another, that it wasn't dull, and everyone had fun. Try to spin that in every way possible for thirty minutes. Yea, it gets dull after five, doesn't it?

Market Days
The weekend following my first week of workshops was Boystown's Market Days weekend celebration. Basically, it's like Pride, but consisting of the whole weekend full of live concerts, outdoor vendors of various kinds, drinking in the streets, gay go-go dancers advertising the bars they work for, and checking who's on Grindr locally and from out of town. It was a nice way to end the weekend. I got to see Shiny Toy Guns while dancing in the rain, and I got a kiss from a guy (a friend of a friend) that I think was cute. (Who knows, I was tipsy at that point). When I told him I had to get going since I lived in the suburbs, he asked me for my number. He then texted me right then and there so I could get his number. His text read, "You're hot." Of course, at that point I considered it the right time to make my move. We kissed, but then some drunk asshole tried to lunge at the both of us to get in on the action, which kind of ended the moment.

We texted a few more times throughout the night during my train ride home. We promised one another that we'd see each other again. Blah blah blah. It's been two days, I haven't heard from him since. I don't feel like starting the conversation with him. I don't feel like initiating anything with anyone at the moment anyways. I get attached to people too easily and I'm not looking for any sort of casual encounter, so it might be best to just keep my distance until we come across one another again serendipitously.