I gave him another chance. Brandon that is. He message me on Facebook that he wanted me back in his life. He said he needed me in his life in whatever way he could possibly have me. He just wanted me to be a part of it. I tried once, then a second time, then this third time. I don't think it's going to work out whatsoever.
He annoys me. He aggravates me. He says shit that I question and bring to his attention, yet all I'm met with is deliberately imposed silence.
He tells me he no longer wants to be a counseling psychologist because he can't stand listening to people's problems anymore (referring to his friends and acquaintances approaching him for advice). He tells me constantly whenever we hang that he's dumbfounded as to why people come to him with their problems. He professes himself as being so approachable and how it's a problem because it allows people to think that he cares about their problems. I found this quite insulting. I found it quite hypocritical as well when he would complain to me about his friends complaining to him, then bashing them for it. I confronted him about it each and every time he brought up the subject.
Every time he did this, I would ask him if he has ever actually directly told these people that he is not interested in listening to them, and that he'd prefer not to have them come to him for their problems. His response, no, he has never approached the situation in such a manner. How has he approached the situation? By listening to these people express themselves from beginning to end, without voicing his disagreement, then complaining to his others friends about these people. He claims he's just too nice to tell them. Wait. Hold on. Too nice to tell them? This is the same person who also constantly claims to be a cold-hearted, bitch that is not afraid to tell people what they think, right? This is the same person that blatantly states that he is far more intelligent than those around him and that he has a problem finding people as intelligent as him to have a conversation with?
When I challenge his opinions and refute every discrepancy in his argument (basically demanding him to show me the strength of what he stand for) wouldn't you consider that an attempt at an intelligent conversation? Yet he falls short. When I ask, "Have you ever told these people how you feel about them coming to you for their problems, when you don't want to listen?" When he always answered no, I asked, "Why?" I was often met with silence. He would blatantly ignore most of my inquiries toward his illogical statements, yet he would reply to those who simply agreed with his logic or at least not disagree with him.
He often plays the victim and says that he's given so much to being a good friend to everyone, yet he's often given nothing in return. What kind of friend complains about not receiving anything in return? If you're not receiving anything, you have bad friends. If you expect anything out of good-will, then it's not genuine and YOU are not a good friend.
I'm done giving chances. Now let us all listen to Adele's song "Tired". Pretty upbeat song, surprisingly.
Brandon sounds like a passive-aggressive (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive%E2%80%93aggressive_behavior). I've known a few people like this. I don't know how to solve them. I so wish I could.
ReplyDeleteIt's not so bad being a counseling psychologist when you are being well paid to listen to their problems lol. Some people thrive on complaining to others and Brandon should know when to draw the line. We need to enjoy life, not let others bring us down on a daily basis.
ReplyDelete-Actually your concerns about Brandon seem minor to me; it takes time and honest conversation for people to change their attitude. If you guys just get out together and have some fun and a few laughs, maybe you can get things sorted out. - Wayne :)
It has been a long, drawn-out ~12-month friendship... or whatever you may want to call it. I have not seen any substantial growth in this person. Yes, I know I'm not perfect either, but I can't stand people who refuses to listen to others out of some maladaptive defense mechanism... out of this feat he has of being inferior to others.
ReplyDeleteHonest conversation hasn't worked considering that he ignores me when I try to have an honest conversation with him that pertains to his behavior and attitude.
I'm just done.
Yeah, I hear you. No sense flogging a dead horse. (I love that old saying!) Time to move on and you are going back to university soon anyway. - Wayne
ReplyDeleteYou pretty dam know him well. Oh KC! You are such a good soul to even thought of writing about him. Hope he will have the chance t read this and open him eyes, I mean his mind.
ReplyDeleteJJRod'z
JJ: that won't happen for the reasons I stated above.
ReplyDeleteWayne: true. Perhaps I do start drama, but it's time for me to finish them and let it all go. Summer's over, so I need to prioritize my shit. Sorry, but unfortunately, I have yet to get into the habit of working out. lol