I'm tired of going to straight bars. Fine, they're not called straight bars, they're just called bars. Nonetheless, they cater to more of the general public where heterosexual men and women are more likely to find someone to hook up with than I am. Hooking meaning make out with, possibly set up a future date with, fuck with, etc. I'm just tired of going out with all my friends, them becoming interested in some random stranger, focusing on said stranger, and me having to either dance by myself or awkwardly leave. It's annoying, frustrating, discouraging, and makes me feel even lonelier.
Fuck no, I'm not going to the gay bar by myself, especially in a foreign country whose main language I can barely speak. Who knows what can happen to me?
I'm sick of being the wing man for my friends, yet the majority of them are unwilling to do the same for me. For example, I went dancing with a friend of mine. She thought this guy dancing near us was really cute, but she refused to initiate a conversation with him. What did I do? I slightly nudged her to him, which started off their conversation. Literally, a minute or so after, they started making out. What did I do in the meantime? Awkwardly dance on my own (cue a song by Robyn of the same name). However, she has yet to do me the same favor... nor has anyone else.
Do they ever realize it? Do they ever realize that it makes me uncomfortable that they basically have a chance with every guy at any generic bar? Do they ever realize that there are times when I feel like an outsider? The feeling intensified by their unwillingness to support me in my own specific fun? Why do I have to be the outsider? It's unfair. It's fucking unfair.
I miss my friends back home. I miss the people back in Chicago who would and have gone with me to gay bars. The people back home are those that actually attempt to find enjoyment in what I find pleasure in. It is never just me trying to fit into their world.
Actually, it's not the straight bars I'm tired of. I'm tired of the people here. I'm tired of the bullshit. I'm tired of the fickleness. Fuck, I'm tired of depending on the bitch ass people here for any sort of companionship. It's very likely that I won't be talking to these people once I return to Chicago... nor would I want to.
Fuck no, I'm not going to the gay bar by myself, especially in a foreign country whose main language I can barely speak. Who knows what can happen to me?
I'm sick of being the wing man for my friends, yet the majority of them are unwilling to do the same for me. For example, I went dancing with a friend of mine. She thought this guy dancing near us was really cute, but she refused to initiate a conversation with him. What did I do? I slightly nudged her to him, which started off their conversation. Literally, a minute or so after, they started making out. What did I do in the meantime? Awkwardly dance on my own (cue a song by Robyn of the same name). However, she has yet to do me the same favor... nor has anyone else.
Do they ever realize it? Do they ever realize that it makes me uncomfortable that they basically have a chance with every guy at any generic bar? Do they ever realize that there are times when I feel like an outsider? The feeling intensified by their unwillingness to support me in my own specific fun? Why do I have to be the outsider? It's unfair. It's fucking unfair.
I miss my friends back home. I miss the people back in Chicago who would and have gone with me to gay bars. The people back home are those that actually attempt to find enjoyment in what I find pleasure in. It is never just me trying to fit into their world.
Actually, it's not the straight bars I'm tired of. I'm tired of the people here. I'm tired of the bullshit. I'm tired of the fickleness. Fuck, I'm tired of depending on the bitch ass people here for any sort of companionship. It's very likely that I won't be talking to these people once I return to Chicago... nor would I want to.
Looks like you're ready to come back home, then :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are getting a case of straight-itis and a gay guy can only take so much. You are right to stay away from foreign gay bars possibly with old lounge lizards looking for prey lol. Focus on your studies and go auto-erotic until you get home. Straight women can be hard on the head so check out some 100% gay guys when you return. Spring should be nicely here by then. - Wayne :)
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