Language

Well, it's been a week or two since I've written. Everyday, it crosses my mind how I should write a blog post, just to write, anything, just to write for the sake of writing. Unfortunately, I come up with some excuse: "I'm tired, if I write something right now, it'd be low-quality" or "I have too many things to do or finish up." Of course, with the latter, I often don't succeed in finishing those things I'm suppose to do/finish, I end up staring at Facebook or looking for someone to interact with (going out for dinner, smoke hookah, those sort of interactive activities). So instead of actually doing something as an individual, I end up waiting for someone else who might want to do something. In a sense, I lose my own agency as an individual. Kind of sucks. We need to change that. I'm guessing that's what one would call "independence".

In any case, I learned a few things since I last wrote a blog.
1) I use "like" too many times when verbally expressing myself.
2) I use "that's the thing" to start a sentence too many times in verbal conversations.
3) I feel conflicted in trying to avoid telling a friend that perhaps his clothes are too tight on him, yet he brings up the dilemma that he hears of it so much from his family and I always see him awkwardly sucking in his stomach...

Concerning the first two points, a friend I recently had dinner with told me that I use the word "like" and the phrase "that's the thing" when expressing myself verbally. I can understand why I do it, I don't like it, but it's also difficult to stop myself from doing it. It takes so much cognitive effort to express your thoughts while also keeping in mind how you're saying something. I mean, when he brought this to my attention, I started noticing my excessive use of the two phrases, it's insane! I assume that, for me, it's a nervous tic  and using those two words as "fillers" enables me to keep talking without stopping mid-sentence to think of what I want to say or how I want to say it; it's those instances where I'm at a loss for words that I feel nervous. I'm afraid of seeming stupid, basically, by not being able to talk in a smooth, consistent manner. That's where the nervous tic comes from I guess. In any case, I'm trying my best to stop my verbal habit of profusely using "like" and "that's the thing." I'm sure I'll sound far more intelligent and more agreeable to listen to.

Secondly, there's the dilemma with my friend. Whenever I hang out with him, he brings up how his family perceives his weight is brought up. Of course, I can sense that it bothers him that his family perceives him to be larger than how he perceives himself; he buys/wears clothes that his family tells him are too small for him. As a friend, who do I side with? When I am around him, I can sense that he's sucking his stomach in and for some reason it makes me feel uncomfortable.

There was a situation where I went shopping with him. We both went into the fitting rooms to try on clothes that we chose for ourselves. When he asked me what I thought about what he tried on, I honestly didn't like what he had on. It didn't suit his body, it fit him too tightly and hugged him in the wrong places. I'm a bad liar and I didn't know what to tell him, so I tried to use ambiguous phrases such as "it's nice" or "do you like it?" I'm sure he sensed my discomfort since he finally said, "Honestly, what do you think? You can tell me, do you honestly think I'm fat in this?" Of course, I couldn't lie at that point, so I just told him that the clothes he had on might be a little too small, I could sense his negative reaction, he was disheartened...

I told him that I'm willing to work out with him and we can help each other stay on track with eating wisely/healthily, but I haven't really received a compliant response from him.

In any case, that's all for today folks, I'll write again soon.