I Still Believe in Love

So here it is, Valentine's Day... Is it odd that it's my favorite day of the year, more so than my own birthday? Considering my history with "Love" and the men that followed, most would expect me to have become jaded, cynical, and/or repulsed by the though of love or Valentine's Day. The surprising part is that I, myself, thought that I would turn into that person... but I didn't. Just like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, no matter how many times I have been hurt, I still believe and wait for what Carrie described as, "Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."

Some of my friends and a few others have expressed their opposition towards Valentine's Day. They say that it's a Hallmark holiday, where corporate America feeds on love-struck, perhaps even dumb-struck, people. I don't agree, of course. Personally, it really depends on the individuals and/or couples as to whether Valentine's Day has any value to them. It's like someone's birthday; it's like any other day of the year, yet it is significant to many because they believe it to be their day. Sure, many out of the six billion or so people in the world were also born on that particular day, yet it's still special to many of us because we want it to be. It gives us a sense of meaning and identity. It's a day we subjectively give significance to and basically tell those within our own little microsystem of the world that we are here, we exist, we grow, and we live.  

No matter what, I still believe in love. Romantic, shameless, unreasonable, intensely dizzying love. 


Anyways, here I am, writing a blog post in a Starbucks in the middle of the "gayborhood" in Chicago. It has gotten relatively warmer, the snow is melting, the sky has cleared with a hue of robin's egg blue, and the sun is shining. It's quite unusual for a February day in Chicago. Nonetheless, it makes me happy. Even though it's Valentine's Day and I don't have a Valentine, I think it would've been unwise to stay at my apartment and hide from the good weather in an attempt to avoid being the single individual in public. In a sense, I should embrace this day. I should take my individuality, hold it in front of me, and love it. Basically, I should be my own Valentine and embrace it. I love Valentine's Day because it reminds me of who I am and what I believe to be the core of all my convictions: Love.


No matter what I've been through in the (recent) past concerning love and men, I haven't given up. I still believe in love. I still write love letters in order to convey my feelings for another. I still believe in doing special things whenever I get the chance (however big or small the deed may be) for that one special person. I believe that love would/should never make one feel limited, constricted, or deprived of the live he/she dreamed of. I believe that love should complement one's individual life, not replace it. Sure, I've become more cautious when falling love, but that hopeless-romantic part of me still thrives... I'm just patiently waiting for that one special individual I can present it to.


We meet three loves in the world: ourselves, the world, and that one person who can love us just as much as we love ourselves. We must love ourselves enough to never lose hope.