I just woke up. I had another dream about B. I always believed that my dreams always meant something. My unconscious mind trying to tell my conscious self something? Precognition? Clarity brought on by the automatic reorganization of the mind when one sleeps? I don't know. I just know that my dreams have always meant something. Some people might say that in retrospect, dreams might seem profound because we make the connections between the concrete reality and the ambiguous dreams... The thing is, my dreams have always been so specific, but still symbolic that it's hard to believe that I'm just making connections where I "believe" I see them.
Anyways, this dream... I was meeting up with B. in some mall. We had reconciled our differences and it seemed as if we had started getting along. We were being affectionate with one another in public and I was happy. I was happy, but it seemed as if I was happy on my own. Sure, I was content with being with him in the dream, talking, laughing, holding hands... But I felt no significant difference between those direct, intimate interactions. I felt the same whether I was holding his hand or not. Also, close to the end of the dream, I realized that I had skipped a whole day of classes. I was shocked and a little upset about forgetting my classes, but I tried to tell myself that it's okay. I told myself that it was okay to skip class because I was with B.
What did this dream mean? Is my unconscious mind, heart, or whatever showing me how I really feel about B. and how I've always felt for him? In reality, did I just convince myself that I had developed intimate feelings for him because I saw him moving on with somebody else, whereas I find myself standing where we parted ways? With skipping a whole day's worth of classes to be with him, is it symbolic of the fact that I'm sacrificing (too much of) myself in order to be with this man I might not have intimate feelings for?
Who knows? At the moment, this is the most logical explanation. On the other hand, there's nothing logical about dreams... right?
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