I Feel Degraded

For the past two weeks I have been trying to get into this certain professor's Italian-101 course. I wasn't able to simply register into the class since the class was full by the time I could register for classes for this semester. When I spoke with the professor at the beginning of the semester (i.e. two weeks ago), she told me that she can't do anything during the first week since it's add/drop week. She suggested that I come to each class, participate, try to get in the class if a seat opens during the first week, and if not, she'll see what she can do the following week.

After a week of going to an 8am class at below 10 degree weather every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and participating as if I was actually registered for the class, the professor tells me to talk to the chairperson of the department. When I spoke with the chairperson, he told me to pick up a course add/drop override form from the dean's office, get it signed by the professor, and he'd sign it. When I went to the dean's office/advisory office, they told me they no longer used the form that the chairperson was talking about and all they'd need is a signed notice signifying permission from the chairperson. I tried to go back to the department chairperson's office to explain what the advisory office had told me, but he was no longer there. Afterward, I e-mailed the professor and told her the whole situation with the chairperson wanting a documentation of her permission and that the advisory office just needed the chairperson's permission. So in essence, all I needed was for the professor to e-mail the chairperson, who can then give me a documentation of his permission, which I could pass on to the dean's office. Of course, the professor didn't reply to my e-mail, but the e-mail system my school runs on showed that she had opened it an hour after I sent it.

After going through that whole situation, I came to class, participated, and tried to talk to the professor again after class. I asked her if she had received my message and what she thought I should do. She said that she'll talk to the department chair, then she said, "You better not make me regret this. You're making a lot more work for me. You better not make me regret doing this," in this annoyed tone. In my head I was thinking, "Is she threatening me? I get to class every morning before anyone else does, I actually am the one to turn on the lights in class, and I participate as much (if not more than) any of her registered students just to prove my commitment." I felt so degraded as if I was an unnecessary inconvenience to her. Yes, I know that adding one more student to a closed course can add a little bit more workload for her like grading an extra quiz/exam, getting participation from one extra student, adding one more name to her roster, but was it really necessary for her to make me feel like I was wasting her time? Did she really have to threaten me?

Today, I went to class again, participated, and tried to talk to her and ask her what's going on with the whole situation. My exact words to her were, "***** I was wondering about the course override." She replied, "What about it?" I responded, "Well, I was wondering if I've been registered in your class?" She replied, "Well, non, you told me that you were confused as to whether a course add/drop form would be necessary. Once you find out, get back to me." Again, in my mind, I was thinking, "Why is she being so apprehensive towards me? Didn't she say that she would talk to the department chairperson herself?" I felt like I was just slapped in the face. I felt so low at that point.

A little later, I went to the advisement office and talked to another advisor. I explained the whole situation to him, how I've basically been passed around from one school administrator to another and with no answers. In the end, the advisor basically just told me what I've been hearing the past few days I've tried to settle this whole situation, "Ask the professor to e-mail me saying that she gives you permission." In essence, I've been running around for the past week trying to get some person's permission who only points me to the people who told me to get the former's permission in the first place before the latter gives me theirs.

I'm frustrated and I feel degraded by these people. How can these people call themselves educators? They're so blinded by the bureaucracy that they lost sight of their main goal: to teach and nurture students' education. All that these people have done is humiliate me and belittle my desire to learn. I want to get into a class because I want to learn. I have been sitting and participating in the class every Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 8am and getting there before anyone else, so they can't tell me they don't have a seat for me; I've been sitting in one. I cannot believe that these people can pride themselves in the notion that they're positively influencing the futures of students. I want to learn. I am committed to learn. I have been trying to prove that to them, but all they do is pass me on to someone else because none of them want to send the simple e-mail to one other person among them with a statement as simple as, "Kenneth has permission to be in this class." Instead, they prefer to have me run around between each of them, nod my head, accept some bullshit excuse that the previous person also gave, and go back and forth with the same message.

These people are not educators. They do not deserve to take pride in such a title.